oh the dangerous temptation to begin my new horizons game again after this video ... i love new horizons, and mine is a first day island, but the issue is the game is overwhelming to me because of all the custom designs and pathing and everything, so making a full island without paths (outside maybe a few), no codes, and so on ... may revive my interest in it. issue is the fact im already playing new leaf ... like yeah switch =/= 3ds and the 3ds is more on hand to keep around, but my brain ...

is it weird to get dizzy thinking abt how fitting it is to call sylvie a girl UAHDUDANDH. ive talked abt it in some other blog posts but even after a year or two i have 'head full no thoughts' at just looking at sylvie and being like OUGHHGHH THEY'RE SO GIRL TO ME ... giggly kicking my feet blushing twirling my hair my babygirl with issues

sylvie very much sees themselves as agender/not caring abt gender (they are just sylvie), but they love femininity and feminine terms, and like being called by feminine terms as well

(tbf they also don't mind masculine terms, but it makes me wanna explode in bad ways)

unrelated but happy birthday to my grandma LOL, we're going out to a buffet later :D

tomodachi life: forced a save edit in my game to get zhongvie to befriend each other cause i was fed up with waiting for the event to trigger. i'd rather leave it to happen as naturally as possible, but at least forcing the friend interaction had to be done. now i just have to stare holes into them to trigger the dating scenario

mark that as the 5th proposal in the span of 3 days, now for my phoenix wright and edgeworth miis LMFAO. i do kinda wish you could block some characters from having relationships, really the only pain in the ass with tomodachi life, cause i dont want my own mii dating anyone lmfao

how have i yapped 89 times just this year already LMAOO help me. to be fair its a good sign, me feeling comfortable enough to talk so often is always a good sign for whatever place i'm on

(This will be moved to my website eventually! I'm planning to rewrite my website soon, and I'll be moving my data there after that rewrite.)

... was really fun! sucks the minigolf place was pretty underwhelming, unfortunately was very catered to kids... though they did have some fun layouts. i lost LMFAO, i fucked up one of the courses and took like 8 shots to get the ball in cause i kept missing. if weather permits it in a few months we might try an outdoor mini golf area

otherwise me and my classmate walked around mostly, stopped by a hobby shop and browsed around at figurine kits and mini war kits and whatelse, before going into a thrift shop. i found a webkinz with an unused tag for 4 bucks, and swim trunks!!!! or shorts!!!! its been one of my BIG desires before we go on vacation in april to get actual swim shorts because i HATE bikini bottoms bc my inner thighs chafe and feel uncomfortable, AND THEY HAVE! POCKETS!!!!!!!! AND FIT ME!!!!!!!!!!! ALL FOR 8 BUCKS!!!! and they still had their tags on!

actual fucking WIN

we also found 10 bucks on the ground while walking, which was wild. those went towards paying my thrift store expendures LMFAO

dinner was rlly nice too, very much a canadian restaurant but i liked their buttered fish tacos i got, i didnt feel overfilled by the end, but comfortably fed which is happy energy

food talk ahead, idk how ppl feel about but just in case

AUGH it sucks that for the last few weeks i've been having cravings to eat at midnight!!! i dont wanna have cravings at this hour, i'm not hungry, i want to Not Eat!!!!!! and i feel like i know why, and it's because my brain is craving to make food for just myself. i only eat 2 meals a day, which is waking up around 11am/noon that my grandma preps (bless her), which also has snacks that last me until 4-5pm, then dinner at 7pm (which sometimes it IS my choice of what i make for family dinner) which leaves me with ... no real choice of ... what i eat aside from the 4pm area

i could make myself food at 4pm, but i then shrink my hunger for dinner, which i dont like doing bc then im overaware that im having dinner later. and so the """safest""" time for my brain ends up being at midnight to have cravings!!!!! which i dont wanna do!!!!!!!! its already bed time!!!!

(brain i know you want buldak ramen noodles but No)

augh, i wish there was some way to mitigate this, but i have no idea what it'd be ...

weird ass issue that's partially self-inflicted LMAO if i could wake up earlier i'd give myself more time but i tend to sleep in until 10am and need an hour of rotting in bed to really wake up (or i doze in and out for like 2 hours)

to be fair it might not even BE this train of thought but honestly i have no idea what it could be, and that's frustrating!!!!! like it could even be stress but honestly i'm so blind to my own stress so i can't even say that it IS that

EDIT: IS IT JUST SALT???? was my brain just craving salt????????? or salted foods rather??????

animal crossing new leaf: got Saharah visiting today, and opted to use the 3000 bells to randomize my wallpaper and floor ... and it came with the lil greenery wallpaper + a nice stone floor!!! literally perfect for a green room/plant room which i was planning anyway for sylvie!!! obviously need to expand the house first tho... but that worked out. my perfect fruit tree grew up as well, and right now i'm just storing a single fruit to replant the tree later ... i don't remember when we get an axe to cut down trees, so i can start clearing out some of the extras ... :/

leif's little flower shop is finally opening up too!!! eventually, it's being constructed right now ... lief? leif? flower shop ... Ed is moving in as well!!! dang the town is filling up quickly and with absolutely fun villagers

tomodachi life: another big argument today but that was immediately resolved ... why does my gentle boy keep getting into arguments ... and him and the one other mii still haven't made up LMFAO

WHY DOES ZHONGVIE KEEP AVOIDING BEFRIENDING EACH OTHER im gonna crylaugh PLEASE CMONNN

yae and ei finally got married!!!!! still so goofy you have to literally make the 'male' or 'female' mii appear the other gender to even have 'same sex' relationships sobs lmfaoooo

feb 12th edit: why the fuck did i have 2 proposals today as well.

... aka playing as sylvie in this kinda game is. fun, mostly because they ... have a reason to comment, talk to me in my head. i brought it up a little in a different blog post but munbonding/living character kinda describes what sylvie is to my brain--a companion. one im very aware is just my OC blorbo but who i like talking to/they yap on their own!!!

and it's been fun playing animal crossing and them having a reason to actively comment as i play for what house layouts they want, or items, or clothing. even if the gameplay mostly falls to me cause ... well, im playing--it's fun to just have them pick out what they want for clothing and such

all the times i have played animal crossing, it's been as myself ... in my old, old save file i did make a secondary villager that was my old comfort OC who also was a chatter in my skull, i don't remember ever really playing as him to really go through the experience. idk what makes animal crossing different from me using a sylvie skin in minecraft, but i guess it's because i see ... Them in the game, not just a first-person POV (so 'me')

then again i guess it was the same when playing bg3, that was Sylvie i was playing as ... so it's them humming and hawing as they think about what dialogue choices to do, and me just doing the combat part

( look at my ingame sylvies (order: bg3, spirit city, animal crossing, genshin) )

aka im waiting to finish my contract work and get the last half of my payment for it. i really like dreamwidth, i am like. unbelievably comfortable here even if i still need to work out some issues w/my yapping

i also just want a bajillion sylvie icons to use from and custom moods LMFAO (at least i think those are locked to paid accounts, i can't find a way to use other custom ones outside of the list)

Working on a possibly slightly longer fic than my last few (i hope at least) and I've come to realization that at this point in Limbus Company, I have no idea where the freaking end will lead. My current expectation is that the main cast will turn against LC (as that one canto 9 Gesellschaft scene leads me to think not everything is as it seems to be there) but that's kinda about it. Trying to write a post canon fic here is pretty much just saying 'random bullshit go' and hoping it lands. Considering it's gregclair, it's also kinda hard to figure out how to treat Gregor's bug arm, especially after last canto. How will that thing affect him later in the game, I have no idea, and honestly I don't think anyone can answer it. I will go with it still being there since there's nothing else I can work off of, but still.

Also, the state of the City? We're clearly about to have a mass death situation, after which the main cast has to do SOMETHING to get it to a normal state of things. My general idea is that by the end of it, everything will be calm, Head will probably be gone, the whole City will need to be rebuild in terms of how it functions at least. I'm hesitant to say if there will still be the divide between the nest and backstreets, so I guess ignoring the thing comepleatly is the way to go?

This is a lot of thought for a fic that's essentially one where Gregor is trying to not be afraid of being the possibility of being a bad parent because his mother messed him up lol.

tomodachi life: funniest shit when yesterday i had my first failed fight, and the one who said ‘no’ to ending the fight immediately was like i feel bad and they made up … today though? kaveh genshin impact and my gentle big retriever dog oc had a fight, and said gentle one said no to making up… and is just living his life while kaveh is depressed LMAO… like boy?????

… first giant fight as well … what is today??? day of the fights??? at least that one was very quickly resolved

pokemon rumble world: benefits on a hacked 3ds is now i can get the paid version, move my save file over, and have all my existing pokemon + diamonds!!! … god damn i’m out of touch with this game though, i completely forgot how that you need to wobble bosses to catch them, and my gutsy pokemon kinda fuckin suck ass right now

ohhh my god. i'm here. i'm here. god i missed dreamwidth so bad, i'll probably make another post tomorrow??

how the hell do i get my discord buddies on here now.

my ass said i wont post super nsfw stuff but alas. i yap UAHSDNADASND. tbf even if i talk NSFW stuff it's usually more in terms of dynamics than like ... Stuff itself? it's rare i ever do it usually because my thoughts are very disjointed in trying to talk about it depending on the characters, esp cause zhongvies tends to have a lot of weird layers tied into their own history/identities as being gods influencing some portions of it

anyway rambling yapping yada yada. i am the embodiment of asexual pervert i guess, or the meme that ace ppl write the best smut yada yada

i tried to rhyme with the title but that didn't go well LMAO. this is a different angle altogether but i'm kinda glad to have found systems that work for me that help neurodivergent people in general, or to see posts that i understand, or talk to people who have a mutual understanding of certain struggles

i'm not sure i will ever get around to getting diagnosed to see what IS ticking around in my skull, especially as it's not detrimental to my life in a way that it's horribly tripping me over ... but there is some sense of ... relief i suppose in finding a variety of tools that does help my brain to function. to be fair i think if i didn't find them while i was in college and living on my own (even before i did any research on it/considered it for myself) i'd be a lot messier with my brain and organization and doing anything

i'm still like 95% sure i have some form of inattentive ADHD (3+ people have clocked me with having traits and my best friend of 8+ years thought i was aware i had it/showed traits LMAO) after doing research for well over a year and talking to other people who have ADHD/are AuDHD, but i will never truly be sure about it, and will always have some lingering doubt about using the label (even though as said, i am sure it is That, but it's always the 'do i truly have it or do i think i do and i don't have the same issues actual people with ADHD do?')

but it reminds me of a thing that making things accessible for those who need it, then also makes it accessible to everyone; everyone can benefit from things that help them, physical, mental, or emotionally

XD Hi. I created this account solely to play the Colors tgc. XD thats it.

I finally wrote a fic. Far from my best work and a lot shorter than I wanted it to be, but I'm glad I pushed it out of my system, both for the sake of the event and my own mind. I needed to write something man.

I've been playing botany manor on and off for the past few days when I've been feeling like it. A cute puzzle game, I've been enjoying it a lot. I don't think I've played something like this before, I love that it's about flowers and touches upon how women were treated in the past when it came to academia and research in the past. You have to dig a bit as everything is told through letters and notes so you might miss something. The game is currently free on Epic Games, I'd reccomend it! I'm halfway through it so far.

sadly i had to scrape off some old stickers because they were tattoo stickers and felt melty to the touch, BUT it gave me a good excuse to pull out my sticker packs and re-decorate it!!! the only thing that remained was the noodle zhongli in the center